Johnny English Reborn (2011)

My attention strayed and then irritation set in as this British spy spoof, the second in a series of three Johnny English movies but the first I've tried to watch, went on and on and on in such cookie-cutter fashion that it doesn't really ask to be watched at all - a glance at the poster tells you everything you already knew about the James Bond-style opening sequence, the ho-hum scene at the hi-tech spy tools development facility, the repetitive car and boat chases, and the unpsychedelic Austin Powers, a rubbery-faced Pink Panther, at the centre of all the, er, action.

★★☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEW

Never Say Never Again (1983)

The title really is a response to Sean Connery's claim that he would never play James Bond again, but twelve years after Diamonds Are Forever, at age 52, and looking like George Hamilton sporting a liberal application of spray-can baldness concealer, Connery returns to play the agent with a licence to kill in this remake of the 1967 Thunderball, this time featuring Kim Basinger, an 80s-arcade game showdown, an exploding pen, and a memorable urine joke.

★★★☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS

The Witches (1990)

This is just exactly how you imagined it in your head as you read the Roald Dahl book as a child, with the witches a grotesque gaggle of foul bald creatures who plot to turn all the children of England into mice; one boy on holiday with his grandmother in a beachside hotel must stop the witches from enacting their dastardly plans but will he be able to after they've turned him into a mouse?

★★★★☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS

Love Actually (2003)

This saccharine romantic comedy is replayed on television about three times a week and I've grown to loathe it, but at least on the first occasion it is a pleasure, featuring an ensemble all-star cast in a series of interconnected stories that share the central theme of messy love.

★★★★☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS