Tightrope (1984)

Of course it is hard for New Orleans police detective Wes Block (Clint Eastwood) to catch the serial killer on the loose in the city - he is one of those badly drawn 80s-movie serial killers with an everchanging modus operandi, neither disorganised nor organised, at times a random targetter of women on the streets and at other times a player of diabolical games of cat-and-mouse who ends up a balaclava-ed home invader - and it is the macho 80s, so every single woman in this movie is coquettish and aching for it, and it doesn't matter how crotchetty and old and wrinkled the men are or how revolting their come-on lines are, the women are desperate to please - wait to hear Block's attempts at wooing the rape prevention instructor, Beryl Thibodeaux (the only woman in it who isn't a street walker) when they lunch together by the New Orleans' harbour, and wait and baulk when she becomes interested! - and keep in mind Block knows by this stage a serial killer is targeting the women he beds, but I guess Thibodeaux wants it so bad, Block simply has no choice, despite the obvious danger, to scratch her itch like a hero.

★★★☆☆

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Body Double (1984)

A down-on-his-luck horror film actor scores free accommodation in a plush pad with a revolving bed and views of a sexy neighbour's nightly stripshow, in Brian de Palma's sleazy thriller, an unabashed exercise in emulating Hitchcock replete with voyeuristic hero (Rear Window) with a debilitating psychological condition that gets in the way of his uncovering the truth of a mystery involving body doubles (Vertigo), double-crosses, and murder.

★★★★☆

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Dune (1984)

This 1984 adaptation of Frank Herbert's dense and difficult 800-page read was at one point ten to fourteen hours of footage that over the course of director David Lynch's famously difficult production, was pared down to just two, and the result is laughable, with glib voiceovers bridging those lost hours on the cutting-room floor and mere sentences attempting to confer importance on too many details - too many feudal empires and ruling families warring over a precious resource on the planet Arrakis - but nonetheless the movie succeeds as a psychedelic rock opera full of fantastic SFX (a floating bloated villain, gleaming hyper-blue eyes, gigantic earthworms, yellow upside-down lightning) all set to a Toto-and-Brian Eno soundtrack, a heady, mind-numbing treat bringing to mind the camp excess and pulp spectacle of Flash Gordon - for better or worse.

★★★☆☆

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Oh, God! You Devil (1984)

With a kid working on an ad campaign for God, the sequel in 1980, Book II, was as charming as a Charlie Brown cartoon and probably as good as these Oh God! movies were ever going to get, but the makers force things onwards with this threequel, making demands on an even older George Burns who has to play not just his cigar-chomping, wisecracking God but also a cigar-chomping, wisecracking, tap-dancing (!) Devil, both of them involved in the life of a rockstar wannabe who, thanks to not very good plotting, never really deserves the trouble he lands in and never seems to realise how much worse his poor "fill in" has it.

★★☆☆☆

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The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

The third Muppets movie - the first to introduce the Muppet Babies and the last to be made before Jim Henson's death - has the plush theatre troupe, my great love since I was a kid, taking their show to Broadway and their "little guys trying to make it big in the Big Apple" story is the perfect blend of musical numbers, laugh-out-loud comedy skits and cameos of some big name stars.

★★★★★

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Amadeus (1984)

I have no idea whether the rumour Salieri murdered Mozart was borne out of some kernel of truth or was completely fabricated by Pushkin in the play he wrote in the 1830s, but that play was turned into an opera and then in 1979 Peter Shaffer's play came out, written as far as I know without credit to those earlier works, and then this sumptuous Academy Award-winning period drama based on Shaffer's play was released in 1984 (filmed on location in Prague (in the Estates Theatre, for example, where Mozart conducted the premiere of his Don Giovanni and where I recently watched The Marriage of Figaro, leading to my wanting to watch this again)) and now one thing is certain: the Italian Salieri's career has been entirely eclipsed and now, thanks to this movie, Salieri will always be remembered second as a composer and first as the Austrian composer's murderer, whether that is true, only slightly true, or not.

★★★★☆

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The Terminator (1984)

For an 80s sci-fi action that is essentially a string of cgi-free car and foot chases set to broken synthesizer chords and interrupted with occasional scenes of exposition (our mulleted heroes trying to soberly discuss a ridiculous time-travelling robot assassin plot), the original 1984 Terminator is a masterpiece and even more enjoyable to rewatch now to see the genesis of the Terminator motifs that recur throughout the sequels, like the first appearance of Dr Silberman (here dismissing as mental illness the robot killer threat but himself destined for the insane asylum) and Arnie's first utterance of the line, "I'll be back," and a few clever smaller details like the scene where a fellow waitress being glib about the future tells Linda Hamilton's Sarah Connor not to worry about the customer's child who spoons ice cream into her apron pocket because no-one is going to care in 100 years.

★★★★☆

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Splash (1984)

No sooner had Australian Senator Cory Bernardi proclaimed that gay marriage would be the first step towards people having sex with their pets than the Gay Marriage law passed and The Shape of Water, that cinematic manifestation of all of Bernardi's worst human-beast coupling nightmares, was released in theatres, but in 1984, the world was already well along this road to destruction when the original The Shape of Water, Splash (Ron Howard's comedy about a romance between a human and a sea creature) proved so popular, it launched the career of little-known star Tom Hanks, introduced the world to the future Elle Driver, and was so light, frothy and warm that this very early death knell for world decency probably didn't even make Cory Bernardi blink.

★★★☆☆

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Purple Rain (1984)

You don't watch Purple Rain for Prince's debut as an actor or for the movie's wet variation of the "Who's on second?" routine, nor for its maudlin story, apparently almost Prince's own, of a Minneapolis musician, Kid, who uses music as an escape from an abusive father, and you certainly don't watch for its depiction of women who fellate guitars and are dismissed as "bitches" whose "periods are messed up", but you watch it because you are a fan of and/or want to marvel at the big-headed queer bird that is Prince in his Little Lord Fauntleroy suits, and for his musical performances, especially 'Purple Rain,' one of the best songs ever written.

★★☆☆☆

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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Number two, in which Indy tries to recover magical stones in East India, is a big dopey comicbook adventure with poor gender and race politics but it remains my favourite, well, perhaps second favourite of the Indiana Jones movies on account of its big opening Shanghai dance number, its hilarious banquet scene, its comedy routine involving jungle animals, the lengthy carry-on involving Indy getting trapped with Shorty in a spikey booby trap, the minecart rollercoaster ride that I've dreamed of going on since I was a kid, and of course the climactic collapsing rope bridge.

★★★★☆

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Ghostbusters (1984)

It is hard to imagine, despite decades of advances in cinema technology and the various sequels and reboots that started with the Melissa McCarthy one in 2016, that anyone is ever going to improve upon this classic 80s comedy - even rewatching it today, so many years after its initial release in 1984, it impresses with its special effects and comedy, and Bill Murray is in top form as the drily hilarious Dr Peter Venkman who, with his fellow Ghostbusters, takes on New York's growing number of paranormal problems including the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

★★★★★

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Footloose (1984)

A city kid rocks the foundations of a conservative town in America's Midwest by challenging its ban of rock music and dancing, in this 80s classic, a dull, ridiculous melodrama that is not so ridiculous if you believe claims it is based on real events in the township of Elmore City, Oklahoma, and not so dull if you try to find ways in which it is analogous to real situations like, say, the Australian Government's stance on same-sex marriage.

★★☆☆☆

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2010: The Year We Make Contact (1984)

This science fiction sequel is fascinating for having special effects that are worse in 1984 than the prequel in 1968 sixteen years earlier, and where that Kubrick film was philosophical, metered, balletic and profound, this is like a DLC expansion pack offering fans a quick add-on storyline that isn't terrible (Russian and American astronauts investigate the failed Discovery One mission to Jupiter) but is certainly, compared with the original, obvious, cursory, and fairly forgettable with a narrative driven by Captain Kirk-style diary logs. 

★★★☆☆

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This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

Behind the big stadium theatrics of all the world's mega rock'n'roll bands, you just know there are the inflated egos, the writhing masses of petty differences, the overblown personalities and idiocy and mismanagement of the sorts portrayed in this classic and hilarious rock mockumentary.

★★★★☆

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Top Secret (1984)

Incredibly funny, laugh-a-minute cornball comedy starring a young, svelte Val Kilmer as an Elvis-like all-American singing superstar who becomes embroiled in resistance efforts in Nazi Germany, with sidekicks including Deja Vu ("Have we not met somewhere before?"), and Chocolate Mousse!

★★★★☆

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