28 Weeks Later (2007)

Flaunting rules during COVID - maybe that I can kind of understand, but in the face of apocalyptic evidence post-the-virus in this sequel to 28 Days Later, it is hard to believe anyone, even kids, would "sneak out", but they do, and that lapse in credibility becomes the film's defining weakness as, repeatedly, family reunions defy apocalyptic chaos, characters display magical virus expertise, and John Woo-style theatrics push the story towards spectacle and away from the unsettling plausibility that made the original so engrossing.

★★★☆☆

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Graduation Day (1981)

Except for the fact Jamie Lee Curtis doesn't appear, this 1981 slasher follows the 80s teen slasher formula exactly — it could even be Scream -1 — opening on an initial tragedy at Woodsboro, I mean, Midvale High School that sets into motion a grisly series of killings of the members of the school's track-and-field team, and about the only thing that sets Graduation Day apart from the long line of identical others is a rocking film clip at the one-hour mark — Felony's Gangster Rock — which injects new energy — not a lot, but new — into the final thirty-minute lead-up to the clumsy reveal of The Fisherman, I mean, Ghostface, I mean...

★★☆☆☆

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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025)

Mary Bronstein, who appears as Dr Spring, wrote and directed the engrossing and exhausting If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (no comma), apparently basing it on her own traumatic time caring for a sick child, and its the truth at the core, along with Rosie Byrne's "performance of a lifetime", that makes this unflinching look at motherhood - the guilt, the shame, the obsession, and the killer power - so utterly captivating: a comedy so dark it more than verges on horror, and you've got to love the reviewers, many male, saying it (read 'two hours of motherhood') is monotonous, too long, and not the entertaining experience you want when you go to the cinema!

★★★★☆

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Scream 4

The kill count at ten minutes is five, halfway through it is seven, and overall, thirteen - not bad for an hour and forty minutes - so number four in the meta-horror series really drives the knife in for slasher fans, but even in an exercise this tongue-in-cheek - and it succeeds in being funny a number of times - it can be frustrating sitting through the idiocy on display: remember, Ghostface is a serial killer who has well and truly put a dent in the population of Woodsboro High on three previous occasions, yet in the midst of spree number four, as the body count rises, these teens hold parties, get drunk, wander outside into the dark woods, and play astonishingly tone-deaf "Ghostface" pranks on each other, making it more than a little tiresome waiting out the Scooby-Doo unmasking at the end.

★★★☆☆

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Scream VI (2023)

Just brutally violent, not scary, this sequel to 2022's "rerequel" Scream and the meta-horror series' sixth entry riffs on the idea that Scream is now a mega-franchise with the momentum to continue even without its legacy characters, so Courteney Cox's investigative reporter Gale Weathers (here, again) and other long-timers are apparently at risk of being killed off - it isn't a big point of difference, and other standard elements, like the opening set-piece, are tired, but the mystery elements of Scream VI and a neat sequence on a New York City subway train keep the bloodletting intermittently interesting.

★★★☆☆

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Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

A largely plotless survival horror with wooden 2D characters distinct from each other only in name, outfit, and weapon, this third Resident Evil movie, like the others, is easily dismissed as empty dross, but fans of CAPCOM's survival horror game series upon which these movies are based will derive great pleasure from the details - 3D geometric maps, zombie ravens, tourism posters - that recall so clearly the joys of the game.

★★☆☆☆

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Exit 8 (2025)

The computer game it is based on is a simple spot-the-difference game, but this movie adaptation starring the charismatic Ninomiya Kazunari expands the premise into something at times disturbing and often profoundly moving, turning the main world-weary character's struggle to find Exit 8 in an underground train station in Japan into an analogy for stepping up, taking a stand against, and refusing to ignore life's anomalies - no easy task anywhere, but especially in consensus-driven Japan, and particularly resonant in light of recent scandals involving Fuji TV and Johnny and Associates, and more broadly in this age of male reckoning.

★★★★☆

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Nightwatch - Demons Are Forever ('Nattevagten – Dæmoner går i arv') (2023)

You need to have seen the 1994 original to appreciate the genius of this sequel that takes the themes and look of the original and cements them as classic by reworking the story with a new gender politic, putting Fanny Leander Bornedal in the lead role as the daughter of Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's character in the original - she takes on the morgue nightwatch job to better understand her parents' ordeal - and just when you think things are going to be too same-same (moths in the light fittings, alarm lights that threaten to go off...) this gnarly, twisted mystery really goes places!

★★★★☆

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Nosferartu (1979)

In his 1979 remake of the 1922 original film, Werner Herzog brings sound and colour to the story, which helps him achieve his usual painterly, mesmerizing style, but he also takes the opportunity to align the story much more closely with Bram Stoker's Dracula, which of course is exactly what Nosferatu is - Dracula with the title and character names changed after a copyright challenge from Stoker's widow, Florence Stoker.

★★★★☆

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Delirium (Óráð) (2023)

I had to turn this Icelandic horror movie off at the mandolin finger-slicing scene, despite my interest in the first half, which is effectively creepy and made me deeply uneasy.  

RATING: NO RATING (I can't finish it!)

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Nightwatch ('Nattevagten') (1994)

This, at several key points, very ugly 1994 Danish horror thriller - that restaurant scene! - spawned a sequel and a English-language remake, so is a movie good enough to warrant that and largely, I think, because of the smiley, geek-chic rizz of Nicolaj Coster-Waldau in the lead, whose boyish enthusiasm and jokey disregard and goofy wide-eyed awe - of things like prostitutes, sex, and death - balances nicely with the dark and dread of his new nightshift work at a creepy morgue somehow linked to a spate of serial killings.   

★★★☆☆

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Alien: Romulus (2024)

This checkbox-ticking exercise dutifully opens on a steampunk spaceship with glitchy 80s tech sailing across dark silent space, has the sleeping pods of a ragtag bunch of mercenaries open, features the curious space soundtrack, has some (but not too much) Weyland-Yutani context, and of course, there are synthetics, stomach eruptions, and women fused to walls, but what keeps it fresh is the teen cast - this is the Alien we know and love presented with a Scream/Final Destination teen-horror sensibility and it is a very effective addition to the canon with lots of terrific heart-stopping and inventive action.

★★★★☆

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The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane (1976)

With its young female protagonist (Jodie Foster, playing 13-year-old Rynn Jacobs) living in a gothic American mansion and trying to keep the outside world out, this 1977 horror-mystery tells a very Shirley Jackson story - it's dark and there are magical elements, even, when a magician turns up - Mario - who helps Rynn avoid the world - and it is all quite chilling like a Jackson story, but perhaps this plot is a little aimless and it is a shame the most chilling aspect of it all is Jodie Foster's 21-year-old sister's nude scene that surely wasn't okay in 1977 either.

★★★☆☆

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Dangerous Animals (2025)

As if to demonstrate the abyssmal depths to which film has sunk, this serial killer thriller and creature-feature mash-up, about an Australian serial killer who feeds foreign tourists to sharks, is built up around its thirty-minute-mark spectacle of a woman being torn to pieces by a shark, and nothing else matters:, the plot, very possibly spat out by Chatgpt, starts with a thoroughly unclever and utterly unrewarding opening sequence, then features disappearing bodies, plastic shiv neck injuries and knife wounds that are shaken off and disappear, plot lurches that defy logic, and a lot of repetitive catch-and-escape, catch-and-escape sequences - Tom and Jerry cartoons are more entertaining and efficient - and chaining the film industry to its watery grave forever at the bottom of the ocean is the fact mind-numbed audiences have given this prosaic nonsense an 86% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

★★☆☆☆

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Heretic (2024)

What it is when it is all said and done is nothing new, but it disguises its routineness with some terrific tension, some really not very fair horror-fantasy illusions, surprises, and thriller moments (those silent exchanges of shock!) that keep you unable to see where the movie is going to go - two young Mormon missionaries fall into the web of a smiling, leering spider, an annoying, gabbing Hugh Grant playing a potential convert but religious scholar whose own ideas about religion may prove more resolute than the missionaries' own.

★★★☆☆

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The Substance (2024)

The gothic fairytale The Substance very efficiently sets up how the peculiar science at its core works - an unboxing scene reveals boldly labelled products, one after the other, that neatly, cleverly explain the workings of a substance that promises rejuvenation to Demi Moore's has-been tv star Elisabeth Sparkle - but then the movie uses voiceover and those bold labels repeatedly flashed on screen to hammer home again and again what has been firmly established, making the really very humorous body horror movie more and more of a camp pantomime for imbeciles as it goes along.

★★★☆☆

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Woman of the Hour (2024)

The fact that in 1978 an active serial killer once appeared in real life on a dating game television show seems at first a curious car crash moment to ogle in passing, hardly worth extrapolating into a feature-length movie – not without turning real murder and real victims into sideshow spectacle – but in her directorial debut, Anna Kendrick takes that moment and almost succeeds in finding the balance between respecting its grim reality and lampooning a world – then and now – that idly indulges sick male pathology with a sympathetic "there, there", fails to vet men before, say, letting them on camera, and asks women to laugh gaily at male idiocy.

★★★☆☆

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Speak No Evil (2022)

Homage is paid to 'Funny Games' but rather than subjecting audiences to Hanneke's movie's start-to-finish depravity, this Danish movie, like 'The Invitation' or 'Midsommar' and others in a growing subset of the thriller genre, promises Funny Games' abject horror but keeps it under wraps until a shocking movie-end reveal - tada...they are making human pies...the end, for example - and in this case, the horror reveal comes so rent from anything that has come before, it is two or three days before viewers recognise the sheer stupidity of it - I mean, just try to articulate what exactly the couple with the mute son are in fact doing in the long term - so while something interesting is said about zero tolerance to bad, violent or sick behaviour, one glib line about blunt scissors, a momentarily seen babysitter, a screaming competition on the banks of a sandpit...nothing really adds up to the horror avalanche and rocks thrown at the viewer in the last ten minutes.

★★★☆☆

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Late Night With The Devil (2023)

If this indie horror about a late-night talk show that supernaturally derails had been a real talk show that I stumbled across on TV, I'd have turned off quickly given the show's ugly 70s colour palette, uncharismatic performances, and the fact its supernatural happenings are tediously expounded - the very concept of the movie being to expound, in talk show format, supernatural events - but by far the worst thing about this movie, inexplicably lauded in universally good reviews, is it features its own frequent, deadly-boring ad breaks! 

★★☆☆☆

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MaXXXine (2024)

I was confused how this third movie fitted with the previous two, confused who was who, and confused how exactly the message here fits with what came before - something like: since Hitchcock's 'Psycho' Hollywood stardom for women has required them to have sex or be murdered - but as this Hitchcock homage set in the 80s kicked into its 'Body Double' denouement with 80s electric guitar slides accompanying an outrageous shoot-out under the Hollywood sign, the one thing I did know was how much of a good time I was having!

★★★★☆

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