The Substance (2024)

The gothic fairytale The Substance very efficiently sets up how the peculiar science at its core works - an unboxing scene reveals boldly labelled products, one after the other, that neatly, cleverly explain the workings of a substance that promises rejuvenation to Demi Moore's has-been tv star Elisabeth Sparkle - but then the movie uses voiceover and those bold labels repeatedly flashed on screen to hammer home again and again what has been firmly established, making the really very humorous body horror movie more and more of a camp pantomime for imbeciles as it goes along.

★★★☆☆

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Quick Change (1990)

A trio of friends nonchalantly carries off a bank robbery in the opening scenes of this hilarious Bill Murray comedy only to encounter trouble afterwards when an uncooperative New York City throws its criminals, mafiosi, an early career Stanley Tucci, inept taxi drivers, and stubborn bus drivers in the way of their easy getaway!

★★★★☆

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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

News in April was that Hasbro had started work on a cinematic universe a la DC Comics and Marvel, and in light of my being bored last week by X-men: Apocalypse, I thought, "Perhaps there is room for another action-hero franchise," and watched this 2009 fantasy action based on Hasbro's G.I. Joe action figurines, characters that for a time were the property of Marvel...and it is surprisingly engaging even for someone with no prior knowledge of the franchise, delivers fast and furious comic book action crammed with detail (the backstories are delivered in flashback at furious speed), and there are tonnes of storythreads begging to be followed-up, although Hasbro is sure to reboot the series with the next instalment so don't get too attached to Channing Tatum as Duke, Dennis Quaid as The General, Lee Byung-hun as Storm Shadow (!) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander.

★★★☆☆

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Movie 43 (2013)

Perhaps compiled from footage recovered from the SNL cutting room floor, this laugh-free sketch comedy compilation is remarkable only for the incredible number of A-list Hollywood stars who were willing to appear in its appalling skits about excrement, sperm, grubby sex practices, incest...

☆☆☆☆☆

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