Bullet Train (2022)

It is supposed to be a bit of Tarantino-esque fun, this adaptation of Kōtarō Isaka's book about five assassins aboard the same fast train in Japan, but there's something sad about it: not even Tarantino does Tarantino very well, lately; Brad Pitt in the lead role certainly doesn't manage a young and edgy "Tyler Durden" anymore; and by casting him and other non-Japanese actors in an American adaptation of the Japanese story set in Japan, the action movie inadvertently becomes a message film, with the message - the destructive influence of foreigners upon Japanese society - front and centre, an inescapable part of every crescendoing action scene, yet completely ignored.

★★☆☆☆

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The Lost City (2022)

Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum make a likeable, if slightly indistinctly characterised, leading pair (is he a dopey muscle-bound try-hard, sage truth-bomber, or simply gaga in love?) in this romantic action comedy that is most fun in its first twenty minutes before the action shifts to a "forgotten island" (which turns out to have an airport, a village, and a volcano that features in the tv news) where Daniel Radcliffe's villain, dressed as Colonel Sanders, seeks a treasure and the movie's initially sharp wit quickly descends into juvenile things like bum leeches and dick carry-on.

★★☆☆☆

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G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

By the time some fun stuff arrives - cliffside martial acrobatics, Mission: Impossible-style infiltrations of black tie events and the fast and furious flashbacks that made G.I. Joe: the Rise of the Cobra such unexpected fun - you'll have been burned by a dull boysy first hour where men chortle about their "girl" conquests, snigger about "girls and their guns", leer at legs and you will have already decided Hasbro's action doll franchise needs to stay in 2013.

★★☆☆☆

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White House Down (2013)

Sometimes romantic lead, sometimes teen heartthrob, sometimes dancing sex symbol, sometimes powerhouse dramatic actor, here the versatile Channing Tatum tries his hand at the John McClane role in a Die Hard clone set in a besieged White House, but he is not exactly the centre of attention - there are too many other characters vying unsuccessfully for that, including Jamie Foxx as the POTUS requiring extraction from the hostage situation - and so with your focus divided across myriad players, and further distracted by ill-timed bursts of humour during the high action, you never care what happens but can at least enjoy the audacious sight of the President in his limousine doing doughnuts on the South Lawn while shooting a missile launcher.

★★☆☆☆

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Foxcatcher (2014)

Behind the Candelabra was also a true story about a dysfunctional relationship that develops between a man of great wealth and his young impressionable charge upon whom he has an unhealthy psychological effect, but here the context is Olympic wrestling and medals, not showbiz and glamour, and where Candelabra tapped into the black humour of its situation, Foxcatcher is a far more grim work about low-affect characters moving inexorably towards a tragic, senseless crime.

★★★★☆

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The Book of Life (2014)

Two childhood friends, one an animal lover descended from a long line of macho bullfighters, the other the bearer of an otherworldly badge of immortality, vie for the love of the same woman in this extremely busy animation about Dias de los Muertos - a culturally interesting kids film that hits its stride in its second half. 

★★★★☆

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Hail, Caesar! (2016)

Joel and Ethan Coen's movie about a 1950s Hollywood film studio is full of near versions of real Hollywood personalities from that era - Carmen Miranda, Esther Williams, Gene Kelly, Lash LaRue - embroiled in a plot ripped from 1950s celebrity tabloids and while it is certainly exuberantly acted and full of elaborate period detail, the movie's biggest problem is that it distances viewers looking for meaning - it's neither a light, frothy comedy spoof nor a biting political religious satire, but probably just a largely point-free Coen brothers indulgence - them revelling in the things they love.

★★★☆☆

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22 Jump Street (2014)

The undercover cops again head to college to investigate a drug ring and achieve that rare thing, a sequel funnier than - in fact, all-round better than - the original, particularly with its self-referential humour and the hilarious way it embroils its heroes despite themselves - clearly adults and clearly not brothers - in the popularity contests, cliques and dramas of high school.

★★★★☆

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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

News in April was that Hasbro had started work on a cinematic universe a la DC Comics and Marvel, and in light of my being bored last week by X-men: Apocalypse, I thought, "Perhaps there is room for another action-hero franchise," and watched this 2009 fantasy action based on Hasbro's G.I. Joe action figurines, characters that for a time were the property of Marvel...and it is surprisingly engaging even for someone with no prior knowledge of the franchise, delivers fast and furious comic book action crammed with detail (the backstories are delivered in flashback at furious speed), and there are tonnes of storythreads begging to be followed-up, although Hasbro is sure to reboot the series with the next instalment so don't get too attached to Channing Tatum as Duke, Dennis Quaid as The General, Lee Byung-hun as Storm Shadow (!) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander.

★★★☆☆

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21 Jump Street (2012)

Fans of the hit 80s tv show about cops undercover in American high schools (which took itself quite seriously) will be curious to see this movie-length comedy version, most amusing when it plays on the idiocy of obvious adults trying to pass themselves off as schoolkids, and maybe those besotted by Channing will enjoy it too.

★★☆☆☆

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