Batman (1989)

The batsuit is so rigid poor Michael Keaton can only turn his head by moving his whole upper body - it looks like Batman slept badly - and the movie, er, literally follows suit in that it too is awkward and unmoving: Tim Burton's Gotham is a poorly populated theatre set, the hero is oddly mannered and neurotic, and the story is lifeless with neither the camp fun of the Adam West tv series (except for Jack Nicholson's Joker's half-hearted band leader marches x 2) nor the weight and menace of the much later Christopher Nolan movies.

★★☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS

Never Say Never Again (1983)

The title really is a response to Sean Connery's claim that he would never play James Bond again, but twelve years after Diamonds Are Forever, at age 52, and looking like George Hamilton sporting a liberal application of spray-can baldness concealer, Connery returns to play the agent with a licence to kill in this remake of the 1967 Thunderball, this time featuring Kim Basinger, an 80s-arcade game showdown, an exploding pen, and a memorable urine joke.

★★★☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS