Jack Frost (1998)

Probably not called "Frosty the Snowman" because of a copyright, Jack Frost, this peculiar, only very loosely Christmassy family fantasy made for only the most unquestioning of young audiences, never clearly articulates the rules around coming back to life as a snowman, but given his limited ability to move, tendency to melt, and never explained reluctance to be seen by anyone but his son, Michael Keaton's Jack Frost, a musician brought back to life as a snowman by a harmonica - don't ask questions - probably should have just opted to come back as a ghost like Patrick Swayze.

★★☆☆☆

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Quicksand (2003)

When writing these movie blog posts, I sometimes have to take a stab in the dark at a movie's year of release until I have a chance to look it up later and after finishing "Quicksand" - a title that lured me in with the promise of Hitchcockian thrills and a synopsis that did the same (a guy falsely accused of murder goes on the run in Monte Carlo) - I took a punt that it was from 1983 and still find it hard to believe what I watched - straight-to-video nonsense with 80s tv-series production values, ludicrous plotting, and surely Michael Keaton and Michael Caine's career-worst performances - was actually released twenty years later than I'd assumed, in 2003.

★★☆☆☆

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Morbius (2022)

 

This vampire superhero hardly endears himself to viewers when, early on, he slaughters a roomful of people, but somehow we are still asked to sympathise with him and gun for him as he enters into a battle with a similar bat-bite-influenced villain in what is, dreary-start-to-dreary-finish, a lethargic entry into the Marvel universe with the only thing less charismatic than the lead character being Jared Leto, the lead actor himself, whose appeal as a Hollywood superstar completely eludes me.

★☆☆☆☆

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Pacific Heights (1990)

Financially stretched San Franciscan couple (Melanie Griffith and Matthew Modine) buys a Pacific Heights property with a plan/need to rent out the rooms but when their tenant (Michael Keaton) turns out to be a creep who hammers at night, toys with razorblades and stares creepily at people through his car windshield, a long, dry Tenant's Rights case study ensues, one that becomes only slightly more interesting towards the end of the movie when the landlords and tenant engage in a cat and mouse game (with the movie making the mistake of assuming you'll side with the inept, unsympathetic landlords).

★★☆☆☆

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Batman Returns (1992)

Michael Keaton has settled into his role as Batman and is steelier, less neurotic, less Mr Mom and more able to move and flex in his batsuit than he was in the 1989 Tim Burton movie and instead of the uninvolving battle he had with the Joker in the original (a remote battle - were they ever in the same shot together?) he gets to be really up close and personal with his terrifically creepy foes in this sequel - Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman is split, damaged and slinky and Danny DeVito's the Penguin is a hideous, bloated monster.

★★★☆☆

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The Founder (2016)

Like The Social Network, this corporate biopic details the staggering rise and rise of a business - here, McDonalds - and uncannily it too centers on a corporate go-getter whose vision and drive far outstrip those of the founding brothers left watching their own creation run away from them; whatever your thoughts on the golden arches, Michael Keaton's Ray Kroc, with his mad enthusiasm for the speedy kitchen and his simple but ingenious corporate manoeuvres, is so compelling he will have you grinning from ear to ear. 

★★★★☆

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Batman (1989)

The batsuit is so rigid poor Michael Keaton can only turn his head by moving his whole upper body - it looks like Batman slept badly - and the movie, er, literally follows suit in that it too is awkward and unmoving: Tim Burton's Gotham is a poorly populated theatre set, the hero is oddly mannered and neurotic, and the story is lifeless with neither the camp fun of the Adam West tv series (except for Jack Nicholson's Joker's half-hearted band leader marches x 2) nor the weight and menace of the much later Christopher Nolan movies.

★★☆☆☆

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Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

It starts a little confusingly for anyone like me who doesn't know exactly where, chronologically, it fits in the Marvel canon - opening scenes reference Iron Man and alien debris in a ravaged city - and it is very long and drags in the middle section, but Homecoming is a mostly fun and often funny Spiderman reboot that sets up Tom Holland's Spiderman as the newest, youngest Avenger with superhero ambition that exceeds his experience and abilities.

★★★☆☆

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American Assassin (2017)

This movie with a hate-fuelled lone wolf terrorist as its hero falls apart in its middle stretch - read, 'middle six-eighths' - and reveals itself to be just an incredibly dopey action movie sandwiched between a provocative opening scene (ripped from news headlines, designed to appeal to our outrage) and an extravagant last-ditch-effort-at-multiplex-credibility sfx finale that might only seem impressive after so much dull A-team TV episode-grade fisticuffs and gunplay.

★☆☆☆☆

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Spotlight (2015)

On 6 January 2002, a team of Boston Globe journalists published a Pulitzer Prize-winning story which brought to the world's attention the behaviour of the Catholic Church in relation to innumerous Boston child sex abuse cases perpetrated by the church's priests, and this movie details the hard investigative work that went into the story, raises the powerful idea that "if it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse them," and shows the impact the story had around the world.

★★★★☆

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Birdman (2014)

What we tell ourselves and what our critics tell us, what the truth is and whether or not we or them or anyone else really gives a sh*t are the ideas tossed around in this "talky, depressing, philosophical bullsh*t" about a superhero movie celebrity trying to open a Broadway production, anxious about how it will be received.

★★★★☆

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