The Lost Boys (1987)

The world of vampires, pirates and Peter Pan collide in Joel Schumacher's cult classic from the 80s about vampires who dress like Jack Sparrow (or Adam Ant, depending on your age), lounge about like teenagers who'll live forever, and get away with a stupid number of murders in seaside Santa Carla despite the very public altercations they have with all of their victims in the moments just prior to their feeding frenzies - it is all a very daft but hugely enjoyable mix of horror, comedy and fantasy bolstered by a way-cool pre-male pattern baldness Jason Patric, the two Coreys hamming it up as teenaged vampire experts, a bleached-blonde Kiefer, a dizzy Diane Wiest, and - the real star above all else - a killer 80s soundtrack.

★★★★☆

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The Fearless Vampire Killers, or Pardon me, but your teeth are in my neck (1967)

You'll come to believe this is never-ending as it, like its title, just goes on and on - a laugh-free parody of the sorts of Hammer Film Productions horror movies that are now parodies of themselves and so don't need parodying, but still this - looking a little like a live action Asterix comic - goes pointlessly, inertly on, with Roman Polanski playing an assistant to a Van Helsing type who hopes to rescue Sharon Tate's damsel-in-distress one night after she is whisked away from a mountain inn by a wicked Count Dracula type.

★☆☆☆☆

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