Flatliners (2017)

Surely when tasked with remaking the 1990 horror thriller Flatliners, your only job is to use new cinetechnology to update the spectacle of the afterlife, but in Niels Arden Oplev's moribund morality tale, death is about as out-of-reach an experience as a Red Balloon motorcycle ride or a swim-with-the-jellyfish gift voucher and by the end of the movie it is revealed the afterlife doesn't even bear upon the crises being experienced by this self-centred and super-dull group of med students.

★☆☆☆☆

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The Final Girls (2015)

Purple Rose of Cairo-ing a group of teen cinema-goers into a movie called 'Camp Bloodbath' seems a roundabout way to pay homage to the 80s slasher flick, and even more convoluted is making one of the teens the daughter of Camp Bloodbath's late lead actress because, really, wouldn't this be a more effective "love letter to the 80s slasher flick" if it just concentrated on presenting the sorts of things that actually happen in 80s slasher flicks?

★★☆☆☆

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