Rampage

Chris Pratt, I mean, Dwayne The Rock Johnson is a dinosaur wrangler, I mean a primatologist, who has developed a special friendship with a velociraptor, I mean a gorilla, but when a mutagen is released on Earth that causes the gorilla and several other beasts to mutate into city-wrecking colossi, it takes the white-shirted hero, himself a big mutant cinematic monster, to overcome the dinosaurs, I mean, the genetically-mutated animals and the fact this B-grade Jurassic Park action blockbuster is all based on an arcade game series is unimportant except that it sort of helps to explain the movie's pair of villains, a remotely located pair of buffoons so dastardly they make Lazy Town's Robbie Rotten seem like Hannibal Lecter.

★★☆☆☆

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The Final Girls (2015)

Purple Rose of Cairo-ing a group of teen cinema-goers into a movie called 'Camp Bloodbath' seems a roundabout way to pay homage to the 80s slasher flick, and even more convoluted is making one of the teens the daughter of Camp Bloodbath's late lead actress because, really, wouldn't this be a more effective "love letter to the 80s slasher flick" if it just concentrated on presenting the sorts of things that actually happen in 80s slasher flicks?

★★☆☆☆

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