Aquaman (2018)

When Aquaman says late in the movie he's doing what he's doing for all the people he loves, he must mean his dad and a bald bikie who asks for his picture in a bar - oh, and perhaps an arguing news team - because they're the only people we see him grunt and stare impassively at in his "surface" life, while under the water the most remarkable thing going on, much more interesting than the Lord of the Borings political fantasy going on between kings and Ocean Master and m'ladies on seahorseback, is everyone's underwater hair, by far the most animated thing in this terribly acted and very uneven superhero movie, a bit Brendan Fraser's The Mummy, a bit LoTR, a bit kitsch Flash Gordon scifi but always, most consistently, um, wet.

★★☆☆☆

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Swimfan (2002)

In Australia, one woman is killed by a male partner or former partner a week (1), but in movies like this wholly unintelligent psycho-melodrama from Australian director John Polson, it is the women who obsess and plot against and try to kill their male partners...but only for about 90-minutes before they are summarily and "deservedly" dispatched, either impaled on a picket fence, dropped from a height onto a glass table and then really properly killed by a falling chandelier, killed in a bath and then shot pointblank, or, here, in the case of Madison the psychopath who can't swim but manages logistically difficult pool sex, left to drown.

★☆☆☆☆

1. Australian Institute of Criminology (AIC), 2015 (source: http://www.ourwatch.org.au/understanding-violence/facts-and-figures)

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It Follows (2015)

It Follows brings retro 80s-style teen horror to 2015 with less slash-and-hack but with the synthesiser soundtrack and the kooky fantasy of, say, Elm Street, its inconsistent and implausible plotting - it is about a ghoul that could be herpes personified - and it is all delivered with Donnie Darko cool, aspiring to but not achieving that film's depth.

★★★☆☆

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