Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings (2021)

The baffling appearance of Ben Kingsley - he turns up about halfway through playing a Shakespearean actor who believes real monkeys were cast in the Planet of the Apes - marks where this, until then by-the-numbers Marvel superhero movie, unravels, descending from that point into a Disney mess aimed at pre-teens involving a massive flying threadworm, ludicrous bow-and-arrow mastery, flip-flopping bad-no-good-no-bad-no-good guys, a headless turwomken (a turkey, wombat, chicken cross) and other cgi Star Wars-style creatures trying to make interesting a lengthy middle stretch of exposition, vague ten-ring powers, and a hero whose martial arts prowess goes viral (but whose friends don't seem to know) and whose early childhood years of training as a ruthless assassin are breezily referenced (but which have no obvious effect upon the present) - all up, a mess of too many hasty, childish ideas in a movie which, like Black Panther, ends without it having been firmly established why the superhero origin story is the lead character's movie and not the movie of one of the other more interesting, more impressive characters (but certainly not that embarrassing Ben Kingsley one).

★★☆☆☆

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The Raid (2011)

This Indonesian action flick with a minimal plot, about police on the sixth floor of a tenement building surrounded on all sides and up and down by ruthless drug criminals, is one of the most violent movies you'll ever see but you'll be unable to tear your eyes from the gore (the fluorescent tubes to the neck and the bodies smashed into concrete and the bullets through heads, and so on and so on) because you'll be completely transfixed by the lightning-speed balletic action, perhaps the best martial arts action - or best action, period - ever filmed.

★★★★★

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Kung Fu Killer (一個人的武林) (aka Kung Fu Jungle/Land of the Best) (2014)

"Who's Killing All The Great Martial Artists of Asia?" tells the story of an imprisoned martial arts expert enlisted by police to help track down a glory-hungry kungfu serial killer and in China was clearly an event film judging by the sheer number of martial artists and celebrities who appear in it, but whether the Chinese-Hong Kong production is as good an action as suggested by all the accolades the movie garnered upon its 2014 release is hard to determine for this non-Mandarin, non-Cantonese-speaking viewer: those in charge of the subtitles might as well have used Wingdings - it is like reading a phonebook in the dark for two hours.

★★★☆☆

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Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

The effete, retiring, tired, slovenly everyday folk of Pig Sty Alley, a Shanghai slum, have some kungfu tricks up their sleeves when the not-so-dastardly Axe Gang muscles in on their territory, in this oddbod hit set in the 30s that combines wuxia thrills with cartoon fantasy, hilarious screwball and slapstick comedy, and a touching romance between Sing, a street crim whose heart isn't in it and Fong, a mute hawker.

★★★★☆

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (臥虎藏龍) (2000)

Some may believe Ang Lee's 2000 film represents a mere Hollywood bastardisation of wuxia but it introduced the genre to Western cinemas, heralded a string of terrific mainstream martial arts cinema releases like Hero and The House of Flying Daggers, and for me was an eye-popping, awe-inspiring introduction to wire fu with a ripping story of a sword thief, an arch criminal and a detective duo, all embroiled in multiple love stories.

★★★★★

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The Karate Kid Part III (1989)

Daniel-san, who as a young adult is starting to look and sound like Joe Pesci, comes up with his own domestic chore-inspired karate move in this third The Karate Kid movie ("It's easy," he tells a girlfriend, and in a second flat invents a pottery wheel sweep of the arms) but the undermining of this franchise's formula doesn't stop there: Daniel-san doesn't even come to need this karate move or any special karate move; Mr Miyage doesn't help - his training barely fills a three second beach montage; and the movie doesn't even try to make interesting the grand finale at the All Valley Karate tournament showdown where Daniel-san faces off with more weirdos from the Cobra Kai dojo.

 

★★☆☆☆

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The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012)

To downplay the fact The Rock had abandoned this series after its first instalment, a Dwayne Johnson lookalike plays Mathayus, this time sent on a quest about as cinematic as an episode of TVs Xena: Warrior Princess and about as well-acted as a World Wide Wrestling Federation championship, with Billy Zane appearing as the villian Talus to clinch the film's utter mediocrity.

★☆☆☆☆

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The Karate Kid Part II (1986)

The stakes are ridiculously high now, escalating from a karate tournament title in the original Karate Kid movie to teenage death and honour in this melodramatic sequel, with a lanky teenaged Daniel-san (who really doesn't give the impression of being able to walk straight let alone coordinate a brutal drum rhythm-inspired karate takedown) and his senpai Mr Miyagi coming to the attention of Okinawan bullies.

★★☆☆☆

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Big Trouble In Little China (1986)

1986 was a big year for Chinese mysticism in LA with this fantasy adventure released in quick succession with The Golden Child - both feature rather disconcerting sfx sequences but where The Golden Child crosses its fantasy elements with a Beverly Hills Cop-style police procedural, Big Trouble In Little China, directed by John Carpenter, is full of John Carpenter horror-lite and features Mortal Kombat-style streetfighters, sewer monsters weird and wonderful and thrilling to a kid in the 80s, and the fabulous Kim Cattrall long before Sex And The City was a thing - watching it back today, though, it really isn't very good at all.

★★☆☆☆

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Hero (2002)

This is a poetic fairytale rendering of the formative days and profound political influence of Emperor Qin's reign over ancient China with Jet Li starring as the hero set to play an important role in the Emperor's plans for a unified country.

★★★★★

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