The Limestone Golem (2016)

We all love Bill Nighy, but his frozen-with-botox, duck-lipped routine as Detective Kildare in this Victorian-era serial killer thriller (based on a book, apparently) gets more than tired, and when a *shocking* revelation comes at the end - one that might make sense if you cared to think about it - he delivers one final, extended stare of such ridiculous duck-lipped intensity that you want to scream as though a Jack the Ripper-style serial killer called the Limestone Golem is upon you.

★★☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS

Ready Player One (2018)

The ragtag bunch of best friends has been replaced by a ragtag bunch of avatars of virtual strangers; the Fratelli family is an evil mega-corporation; One-Eyed Willy's treasure is an Easter Egg worth trillions hidden in a virtual world stuffed full of unamusing pop culture references - and the fun is in short supply in Steven Spielberg's busy but soulless millenial update of The Goonies.

★★★☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS