Make it through the longwinded set-up in which the uncharismatic Taylor Lautner veeery slooowly discovers he was adopted in a government conspiracy and be rewarded with an equally longwinded chase in this dopey retelling of River Phoenix's dopey "Little Nikita" featuring government spies who use bunches of balloons to evade pursuers.
★☆☆☆☆
CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEW
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