Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Zack Snyder opens this with the trauma of Bruce Wayne's childhood - a backstory no-one needs to see, not now, not again - and from this tired start it is clear he has approached his job of launching DC Comics' Justice League franchise like an overzealous fanboy wanting to include evvveeerything, mashing together Nolan's Dark Knight series with his own 2013 Henry Cavill Superman movie and ending up with a monstrous, laborious, not-fun-at-all Justice League origin story that briefly features a personality-free Wonder Woman and an overly familiar Lex LuHeathLedgZuckerbergJokethor...surely jumping straight into an already assembled Justice League-proper movie would have been more fun than this!?

★★☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS

Sucker Punch (2011)

Imprisoned girls in fishnets, stilettos and laced bodices are repeatedly forced to perform a cabaret dance soooo unspeakable it becomes necessary for them to dissociate, disappearing into what Zach Snyder probably imagines are empowering feminist dreamscapes - Bjork music video sequences in which the girls wear fishnets, stilettos and laced bodices and annihilate CGI monsters with ninja skills that back in the real world must be some really good twerking or something.

★☆☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEW

Man of Steel (2013)

This frenetic but enjoyable instalment of the Superman franchise has Superman looking more like Wolverine than ever before - muscly, hairy, and fearless - and features dizzying but thrilling action sequences only slightly marred by the sight early on of Russell Crowe riding a Jar Jar Binks-style dragonfly around Krypton.

★★★☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS

Watchmen (2009)

There is zero to like in this relentlessly repugnant, ultraviolent superhero movie that portrays its 'superheroes' as charmless middle-aged cosplay enthusiasts.

☆☆☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS