I think John Carpenter's The Fog, the 1979 horror film with its solid performance by 70s horror queen Jamie Lee Curtis and effective creepy effects deserves sequels and prequels, spin-offs and origin stories but then along came this vapid teeny-bopper remake: the imbecilic plot is front and centre right from the first scene - blah blah blah founding fathers blah blah blah contracts - and because the plot is so silly, other desperate things are thrown in: stupid how-does-The-Fog-do-that death scenes; a show-stopping we-are-being-hunted-down-by-fog-but-excuse-us-we-are-horny-teens shower sex scene; horror sequences conceived free from concerns for the plot that see a young boy give barely a minute of his attention to a man drowning at sea or that see an almost comatose, insensible murder suspect next spotted running around with a healthy complexion (presumably exonerated by an off-camera court case - "It was The Fog, Your Honour - my client is innocent!"); and repetitive dream sequences to really unnecesarily hammer home that silly plot...
★★☆☆☆
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