Evil Dead (2013)

You know you are not the intended audience of this revoltor - it doesn't horrify with its excess of body fluids, just revolts - when you find yourself rolling your eyes at young adults who one minute stumble innocently upon a satanic book in the cellar of their cottage in the woods and the next spout lines with utter conviction about exactly how the summoned evil must be stopped, and because this humourless remake is played straight umlike the classic 1981 horror comedy original, how else can you react?

★★☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS

Spring (2014)

Imagine if in Before Sunrise Julie Delpy was a 2000-year-old creature with tentacles and you've got this strange film starring next-gen Ryan Gosling, Lou Taylor Pucci, whose character, after his mother's death, escapes his miserable palliative carer life to work as an illegally employed immigrant in Italy where his romance with a science student is given a not uninteresting but unwarranted metaphorical spin.

★★★☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS