Blair Witch (2016)

This is simply more shaky, badly filmed home-style footage of young, would-be investigative documentarians screaming and huffing and puffing for 90 minutes in the woods while any development of the story about some sort of witch-cursed woodland is perpetually interrupted by irritating handicam malfunctions, clichéd, glitchy torches, dull drone battery problems, tangential scenes of body horror, and irrelevant camp dangers.

★★☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS

The Endless (2017)

Many people, just like this scifi fantasy's writer-, director- and wooden actor-team of Justin Benson and Aaron Scott Moorhead, want to be able to go back in history and re-experience Lost from the start without the Hollywood writer's strike and with a different, less dismaying end, but this, with its scene-changing thuds, namesake characters, mysterious cabins in the wood, rikka-tikka black smoke monster, out of place wildlife, bearded Jack hero, and amateur writing that has characters exhibiting magical shared knowledge, is like entering into a painful time loop to relive the same Lost mistakes all over again and leaves you desperate for the rising of the three moons to mark the Ascension, by which I mean the turning on of the cinema lights and the freedom at last to get up and leave.

★☆☆☆☆

CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS