We've seen pairs of men antagonising each other in remote locations before and in much better pictures than this (for example, How I Ended The Summer) but here we go again and right from the word go, when Robert Pattinson (looking good in black and white) and Willem Dafoe land on an island where a lighthouse needs upkeep, Robert Pattison gives a look that suggests he would like to take an axe to Dafoe's head, and so what comes after their arrival - a long string of unpleasant things involving excrement, piss, farts, masturbation, yelling, bird murder and meaningless dream sequences - doesn't develop or heighten the situation so much as perpetuate it: for two long hours we really are in the Doldrums and endscenes of mental collapse (thanks, Park Chan-wook) provide no particular satisfaction or punctuation, just ever more listlessness.
★★☆☆☆
CINECAL: ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS
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